Something Needs to be Done
Oct. 6th, 2010 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nohaniiI am sick and tired of hearing about school bullies. There was Michael Brewer (15), the Florida kid who was set on fire over a $40 video game. Chatari Jones (12), the young girl who had a nervous breakdown because she was bullied relentlessly on the school bus -- poked and spit on and viciously made fun of -- because she has cerebral palsy. The many LGBTQ students across the country bullied because of their sexual orientation -- there have been six highly publicized gay teen suicides in the last few weeks and months: Tyler Clementi (18), Seth Walsh (13), Justin Aaberg (15), Raymond Chase (19), Asher Brown (13), and Billy Lucas (15).
And now, Tyler Wilson (11), an Ohio boy in the 6th grade, was attacked by two jocks from school because the boys didn't like the fact that he was on a youth cheerleading squad (he likes tumbling). They broke his arm while he walked home from school. On top of that, they're now threatening to break his other arm during the assault because he a) hasn't quit the squad (good for you!) and b) he told on them (again, good for you!). Says Tyler, "It feels horrible that they can't accept me for who I am. It's my choice if I want to be a cheerleader."
This in unacceptable. Where are the parents? The school administrators, the teachers? Why aren't the police involved in many of these incidents? Verbal bullying -- name calling, harassing, etc. -- is not a laughing matter and should not be tolerated. Even worse are the physical assaults resulting in broken bones and, worse, disfigurement or even death. Complaints by too many kids are shrugged off and ignored every day: kids are told to deal with it, to just tell the bully to stop -- as if that will ever help. So the bullies continue bullying and the kids lose hope as the system continues to fail them. Just going to school every day has become a nightmare to so many of our nation's children, and that is not right.
It's time for these bullies to be punished in a court of law, instead of simply being spoken to or given a time out. More parents need to take a stand and show their children that there are people in this world who will fight for them. Micheal Brewer's assailants have been charged with attempted murder. (Micheal has since recovered from his injuries.) Chatari's dad was so enraged when his daughter admitted that bullying on the bus made her life a living hell that he boarded the bus and threatened the kids involved as well as the bus driver (he's now being charged with disorderly conduct for his actions; no word on the bullies). Tyler Clementi's tormentors are being charged with invasion of privacy after secretly taping and broadcasting a romantic encounter with another man on the internet. Wilson's mom filed criminal assault charges against the jocks who broke her son's arm, and made a t-shirt that reads: "Yes, my son's a cheerleader; GET OVER IT."
I love that parents of the victims are stepping up to say, "Enough is enough." But that's not enough. Children need to learn that it's wrong to pick on and attack others in the first place. That kind of education is not only the province of the schools, but the home environment as well. Parents of the bullies need to be notified and tell their own children to knock it the hell off, but instead they make excuses and try to protect their children from the consequences of their actions. If the bullies themselves are not taught that their behavior is horribly wrong, how are they supposed to improve? What will happen when they grow up? Today's parents need to take responsibility for their children now. It could save a life tomorrow.
Edit: Have you ever been the victim of bullying? Were you the bully? How did you handle that situation? I would love to hear others' personal experiences with this. I for one was lucky: I escaped middle school with minimal experience being bullied, and that was mostly kids kicking my stupid "rolling backpack" (which was actually luggage since I had to bring so many heavy books to school every day), and that stopped as soon as I reverted to using a normal backpack. I was picked on in high school, but only by one really stupidly annoying girl on my water polo team. I repeatedly told my coach about what was going on, but he didn't do anything to stop it, so I just dealt with it as best as I could (including throwing the ball at her face to vent some of my anger with her) and moved on with my life.
And now, Tyler Wilson (11), an Ohio boy in the 6th grade, was attacked by two jocks from school because the boys didn't like the fact that he was on a youth cheerleading squad (he likes tumbling). They broke his arm while he walked home from school. On top of that, they're now threatening to break his other arm during the assault because he a) hasn't quit the squad (good for you!) and b) he told on them (again, good for you!). Says Tyler, "It feels horrible that they can't accept me for who I am. It's my choice if I want to be a cheerleader."
This in unacceptable. Where are the parents? The school administrators, the teachers? Why aren't the police involved in many of these incidents? Verbal bullying -- name calling, harassing, etc. -- is not a laughing matter and should not be tolerated. Even worse are the physical assaults resulting in broken bones and, worse, disfigurement or even death. Complaints by too many kids are shrugged off and ignored every day: kids are told to deal with it, to just tell the bully to stop -- as if that will ever help. So the bullies continue bullying and the kids lose hope as the system continues to fail them. Just going to school every day has become a nightmare to so many of our nation's children, and that is not right.
It's time for these bullies to be punished in a court of law, instead of simply being spoken to or given a time out. More parents need to take a stand and show their children that there are people in this world who will fight for them. Micheal Brewer's assailants have been charged with attempted murder. (Micheal has since recovered from his injuries.) Chatari's dad was so enraged when his daughter admitted that bullying on the bus made her life a living hell that he boarded the bus and threatened the kids involved as well as the bus driver (he's now being charged with disorderly conduct for his actions; no word on the bullies). Tyler Clementi's tormentors are being charged with invasion of privacy after secretly taping and broadcasting a romantic encounter with another man on the internet. Wilson's mom filed criminal assault charges against the jocks who broke her son's arm, and made a t-shirt that reads: "Yes, my son's a cheerleader; GET OVER IT."
I love that parents of the victims are stepping up to say, "Enough is enough." But that's not enough. Children need to learn that it's wrong to pick on and attack others in the first place. That kind of education is not only the province of the schools, but the home environment as well. Parents of the bullies need to be notified and tell their own children to knock it the hell off, but instead they make excuses and try to protect their children from the consequences of their actions. If the bullies themselves are not taught that their behavior is horribly wrong, how are they supposed to improve? What will happen when they grow up? Today's parents need to take responsibility for their children now. It could save a life tomorrow.
Edit: Have you ever been the victim of bullying? Were you the bully? How did you handle that situation? I would love to hear others' personal experiences with this. I for one was lucky: I escaped middle school with minimal experience being bullied, and that was mostly kids kicking my stupid "rolling backpack" (which was actually luggage since I had to bring so many heavy books to school every day), and that stopped as soon as I reverted to using a normal backpack. I was picked on in high school, but only by one really stupidly annoying girl on my water polo team. I repeatedly told my coach about what was going on, but he didn't do anything to stop it, so I just dealt with it as best as I could (including throwing the ball at her face to vent some of my anger with her) and moved on with my life.
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no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 04:22 pm (UTC)I know I never wanted any adults to get involved because I knew they wouldn't actually DO anything. They'd give the other kids a stern finger-wagging and the bullying would more than likely get worse because I'd be seen as a "tattle-tale." Even if parents of bullies do get involved, it seems that they don't want to think that their kid is capable of something like that.
Ugh. Sickening.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 07:05 pm (UTC)=/ I'm really sorry you were put through that experience, though I am glad that it never turned violent for you. I wish you had supportive action-oriented adults around that would help you get out of that mess. No child should have to cry themselves to sleep night after night over something that is preventable.
I understand that it can be hard for parents to even think that their child is an ass, but they're really not doing their kid any favors by burying their heads in the sand! I believe that it will be far more helpful to address the inappropriate behavior before it escalates and gets out of control than ignoring it for the sake of your mental image of your child. Parents today, guh.
(I edited this entry to include a little personal experience.)
no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 07:16 pm (UTC)My parents probably would have told the administration if I said I wanted them to; however, I felt completely vulnerable around most of the teachers because they were very obvious about playing favorites. I even had one teacher who continuously singled out and picked on me and another guy in my grade! She actually told me to my face, in so many words, that she didn't like me! It was absolutely ridiculous and I've had a deep-rooted hatred for small schools ever since - hahaha.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 08:00 pm (UTC)Luckily I was able to switch to public school before I started high school. My experiences there were MUCH better (though not completely free of the usual issues in high school) and, thankfully, I've been able to move past my experiences in middle school for the most part.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 06:59 pm (UTC)I also was pretty mercilessly teased for my hair, mostly by this one guy who repeatedly called me Cousin It. Including one particularly memorable experience where he pointed at me in the hallway and practically yelled it.
I also recall when I moved in sixth grade that I brought a Star Trek book to school, and after that, I never read a science fiction book at school again until sometime in high school. I still can't believe the hate I got for my choice in leisure reading material during silent reading time.
I actually didn't eat lunch during my entire freshman year and spent the hour in the bathroom (sometimes with a candy bar or chips from the vending machine in the hall) rather than sit in the cafeteria, since none of my friends were in my lunch period and everyone that mocked me was. I asked the school if I could switch lunch and study hall (we had a period that was split half/half to free up lunch room time), but they wouldn't let me. They told me to deal with it and make new friends.
I'm sure there's more, but that's what I thought of first.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 07:28 pm (UTC)Would it really have been so hard for the school to switch your study hall and lunch times??? It's important for kids to have friends at lunch time! There was absolutely NO reason for that. It's just... wow. I don't even. Argh. Can I travel back in time and punch your school administrators?
no subject
Date: 2010-10-08 12:17 am (UTC)I have no idea why they wouldn't switch my lunch period. It's not like there was room for me to sit by myself, which I wouldn't have minded. I just couldn't do it. We were really crowded that year (stuck in the middle school), and there wasn't space. If you want to go punch my high school counselor, feel free. I didn't care for her.