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(Part 2 of 2, Part 1 can be found here)

The bad:

I don't remember what I said to broach the subject of birth control. I just remember some of the first words out of my mother's mouth: “You're not pregnant, are you?” “What? No, of course not.” “Not with Dan. Whatever you do, never with Dan. He's not the one for you.”

From there, what was supposed to be a quick chat about birth control turned into a half hour long bash on Dan and my relationship with Dan:

She said that Dan “isn't a man, he's a little boy."
She said we have an unhealthy “enabling” relationship.
She said that Dan is narcissistic, and I'm his codependent.
 

She distinctly implied that I'm only with Dan for the gifts he gives me.

She basically said I should dump him since he doesn't like washing the dishes.
She compared my relationship with Dan to her failed first marriage to a drunk... who was possibly abusive.

Never mind that Dan is always there when I need him, that he's always willing to help, that he gladly takes care of me when I'm sick. Never mind that Dan is always there to calm me down, prop me up, and catch me when I fall. Never mind that he treats me better than every one else in my life. Never mind that he loves me more than anyone else has before.

Dan has never risen a hand to me in anger. He has no serious vices – he doesn't drink, he's not a crazy partier, he doesn't have any drug or gambling addictions. He is impossibly sweet. He takes care of me. He loves me. He helps me in more ways than I can say. I thought this was how a good relationship was supposed to be?

But no, none of that matters.

What matters is that “he doesn't fit in with the family.” He doesn't do dishes. He didn't cook for me when we lived together. We constantly “enable” each other. He's a mama's boy. His hypoglycemia can make him temperamental. What matters is that we cuddled in front of the fireplace in Washington when I was freezing cold.

I barely fit in with my family;* why would I want him to? He's quiet and reserved, and you've been against him from the get-go. We've reached a compromise – I do dishes and he rubs my constantly aching shoulders. It's win-win. He did cook fairly often, actually, but his days were a lot longer than mine even after I got a job, so I ended up doing most of the cooking while he bought a good 90% of our food because I was dirt poor. Yes, he adores his mother. So what? That translates to how he treats me. How is that a problem? The hypoglycemia is annoying, but he's getting better and we know how to work through it whenever it pops up. I would rather deal with his hypoglycemia than your issues. And, seriously? Cuddling PDA is blacklisted even when I'm freezing cold and he's trying to warm me up?

F.U., Mom.

Oh, and learn what “enable” means. Your stupid is showing.

*Excepting Kelly and Geena – seriously, I luff you guys so hard. I miss you!


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Thanksgiving was both fun and a disaster and a half. My Aunt Jan lives up in Washington state, and she came up with the wonderful idea to have Thanksgiving at my parent's new house up there (oh yeah, they bought a house within 20 minutes of Aunt Jan a few months ago; they're trying to rent it out until they can move up). If we went, we would be spending Thanksgiving with Aunt Jan and cousin Kirian for the first time in nearly a decade. I love them both dearly, so it sounds fun, right?

 Wrong )


I hope all of you had a far better Thanksgiving break than I did!
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This weekend was awesome and awful at the same time. On Friday, we were "warned" via a note in the kitchen that my grandparents might show up on Saturday for Grandma's birthday. So Geena and I cleaned the house - swept the floors, mopped, cleaned the bathroom, straightened up the common areas, everything. We literally gave up our trip to Half Moon Bay together to clean the house. And guess what? My grandparents never showed up that weekend. I am highly annoyed. (More on this later, as it involves much cause for GRR.)

In which I ramble )


That was rather long-winded. Kudos to you if you read it all!


Extra kudos if you recognize where "I prefer "death retardant specialist"" comes from.

gtfo

Sep. 17th, 2010 12:34 am
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I was given some shocking and upsetting news tonight. Because of this, I am no longer speaking to my uncle. He will not be invited to any of my celebrations, and I will not go to family functions if he is there. He has been ostracized from our family. This might make things difficult for other people, but I have my reasons and I am sticking to them. I will not go into details here or anywhere else regarding what happened tonight.

Edit: This morning I realized that he's on Facebook. As of now, I've defriended him. I will not be responding to any emails or calls from him. I want nothing more to do with him, ever.

HALP

Sep. 14th, 2010 12:38 am
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I love how Kelly, Geena and I just had an entire conversation via LJ when we're all sitting within about 10 feet of each other. Oh interwebs, you amuse me so.


I am really super annoyed and upset with me because I LOST MY BRAND NEW ZOOM LENS FOR MY NIKON. NOES!!!! I just got a 55-200mm zoom lens for my Nikon D5000 from my parents for my birthday. I brought it with me when Dan and I went to visit his family over the first weekend in September. I KNOW I packed it carefully in my bag to bring him. I'm fairly certain I had it next to my computer in it's little bag. Now, I can't find it. I've looked everywhere in my room, but it's not here. It's gone. Disappeared.

I'm really upset because that is a $250 lens that is GONE. No joke. I can't find it. I've looked everywhere, but it's no where to be found. It's not around my computer or in any drawers. It's not under my bed or in the bag I took on the trip. It's definitely not in my camera bags. Not my purse. Not my car. Not in the laundry. It's not here.

I've looked around the house in areas I might have left it -- but I haven't had a chance to use it yet, so why would it be anywhere but in my room? I've checked the dining room, the kitchen, the living room, the desks in the family room, the foyer... no lens. ARGH.


In other news, Dan and I went to an estate sale on Sunday. There was nothing of interest there until I saw two little ceramic bunnies. They were on the $5 each table. I screwed up my courage and offered $5 for the pair, since the one sitting up had obviously taken a beating. Accepted! Score. These guys are so cute, you have to check them out:





I love the little bunnies. But ARGH LENS WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?
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Sorry for the recent MIA... again. I had three three-day weekends in a row, which was amazing because I got to actually do things. Quite a bit has happened in the last few weeks, so you get it all in list form:
 
With pictures! )

Overall, I had a few good weekends. I'm glad I got to go home and see my family, especially Kelly, Geena, and Mom. I definitely don't get to see them enough since I live 400+ miles away. Hopefully things keep on keepin' on like this!
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My Uncle Erick is throwing a party for his wife Ling this Saturday to commemorate her 5th anniversary of coming to the United States. Dan and I are driving up to San Jose on Thursday evening or Friday morning (depending on when he can get off work). Unfortunately, he wasn't able to swap shifts with someone for earlier in the day, so we'll either be getting in really late on Thursday or around noon on Friday. We're leaning toward super late on Thursday. If we leave around 7:30 pm, and it takes 5 to 6 1/2 hours to get there, we should get there between 12:30 and 2 am. Guuuuuh. Lame, but it will give me an extra day or so. Mom and Dad don't know (surprise!). I'm so excited to be going home. I haven't seen my family or any of my NorCal friends since Christmas, and I'm really missing them. I won't have that much time, but I'm hoping to at least see Spencer while I'm home. Maybe Geena will want to go to a pub with me or something. Bowling, anyone?

KELLY AND GEENA: I lost my keys months ago and haven't been able to find them. There's still a key outside, right?


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Wow, I've been MIA for a long time. Hi! How are you? Remember me?

Quick overview of the last month:

- I started work the week before Christmas. Basically, I watch dogs all day and clean up after them. It's okay, nothing stellar.

- Christmas was MUCH better this year, though I had to work Christmas Eve and Christmas. We spent Christmas with Dan's family, then headed up north and spent the weekend with mine. No/very limited annoying politics talk this year! That alone made the visit more enjoyable.

- I got a boatload of gifts, most of which were completely awesome. Being poor, I wasn't able to gift much, but I think what I was able to get for others was nice, given my budget.

- Dan saw Sherlocke Holmes WITHOUT ME while I was at work on Christmas. He made it up to me by taking me to see in on New Year's Eve. We got lost on the way home from the mall and ended up on some dark, twisty road in the middle of a forest that we had no idea was there. IT WAS CREEPY. Like, a guy on the side of the road with a bloody axe wouldn't have been out of place. Turns out we made one wrong turn trying to get home. Huh.

- Bright points to getting lost: a) it was hilarious, b) we found a neighborhood that went completely all-out on their Christmas decorations. Literally every house on the block had tons of awesome decorations, and they all had signs out front with The Night Before Christmas captions. Just. Wow. Unfortunately, we didn't have the camera, but we're going to try to find it again next year!

- Dan got a new board game from my parents for Christmas. Anyone ever heard of Settlers of Catan? It's essentially a board game version of Age of Empires, minus the armies. It's a ton of fun, but it seems like one person always gets crushed an unreasonable amount. The last game we played, I wasn't able to do anything. It got to the point where I either had to storm out of the room in a huff, or laugh at my misfortune. I laughed so hard that I cried. Didn't change the game, but I felt better.

- Work has been fine. We use "Cesar Millan's" ("The Dog Whisperer's") methods, otherwise called Dominance Training, to keep the dogs from going too wild. The problem is, I've done some research, and this is an antiquated technique based on a flawed premise and is associated with an increase in canine aggression. I'm trying to find another method that can be used as "crowd control," but so far I haven't come across any real potential alternatives. Any ideas?

- Also, I haven't been getting enough hours. I'm getting 25 hours a week on average, which is barely enough to pay my bills. I'm sending in forms to defer payment on my school loans. I'd rather not, but I would also rather not have only two cents to spare every month. It's just too stressful.

- So, starting on Tuesday, I'm starting the search for another job. I need either a second job that will work with my current job to fill out my schedule more, or one that will give me full-time status (and benefits, pretty please?). It would be really nice if I could find one that paid more than $8 an hour, too. I mean, come on. Hopefully I'll find one where I'm not essentially a janitor. I'm a college graduate with a bachelor's degree, not a high school student. I could have done this job in my sleep as a freshman in high school. I need something more challenging! Or less boring, at the very least.

aaaaaand, we're caught up. So, how's everyone been? Did I miss anything important? Post links here if there's anything you'd particularly like me to read!
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Tatiana really makes me want to slap her. Hard.

She can be cool and fun, and then she can turn around in an instant and turn into a bitchy brat. She's always been this way with her mother -- her mother who has done everything for her, from feeding to cleaning to chauffeuring her around town and giving her money whenever she put her hand out for the last 19 years. Sandy did all this for her, her daughter, then Tatiana turns around and tells her what a horrible mother she is for the slightest "infraction." She got better for a while after her parents separated and Sandy moved out -- and Juan's girlfriend basically moved in. Tatiana started hanging out with her mother a lot more and seemed to treat her better than ever, though still not great. Sometime in the last few months though, she mostly reverted to her old behavior. She'll make plans with her mother to go out, then call and cancel because she's sick -- only when her mother called to check up on her, she'd gone out with her friends! And when Sandy has to reject Tatiana's plans because she's too busy, Tatiana gets unreasonably upset. "Pissed off," as Sandy describes it. Now she's yelling at Sandy in public about taking Juan's money (which he owes her, by the way, and why Juan is telling Tatiana about this is beyond me) and in general acting like the spoiled brat she is.

Not only has she reverted, she's getting worse. She's targeting me and Dan now, too.

Dan and I went to his dad's house on Thursday evening after Thanksgiving dinner. We didn't eat anything that night because we were still pretty stuffed from Thanksgiving. The next morning, we slept in late (got up at 11am) and had leftovers for breakfast, then we got dressed and went to his mom's condo. We hung out with her for a bit, then Tatiana showed up. The first words out of her mouth were "What's for dinner." Not a question. A demand. Keep in mind that this is a 19-almost-20-year-old. Sandy replied that she was going out with friends, and Dan and I sure as hell weren't going to cook for her, not with that entitled attitude. So Tatiana sat there sulking while Sandy wrapped a birthday present for Bailey (a neighbor girl that Sandy cared for). Sandy asked Tatiana to deliver the gift on Saturday since Sandy would be out of town and thus unable to give it to Bailey herself. (Sandy has very good reasons why she would rather avoid that family, reasons which Tatiana likely knows but thinks her mom made up.) Tatiana completely refused to do this one simple thing for her mother and implied that Sandy had abandoned Bailey by moving out, and that Bailey wouldn't remember Sandy and and and. SHUT UP ALREADY. So Sandy merely asked Dan and I to deliver it, and we graciously said we would. Tatiana sulked around for a few minutes longer, steadfastly ignored by the three of us, then she gave up on her quest for attention and left. The gift left with her.

Sandy had to leave after that, so Dan and I went out. We came back to the house armed with a CPK frozen pizza and salad fixings for dinner. After making our no-mess dinner, we headed upstairs to watch Die Hard and eat. Tatiana annouced that if Dan loaded our dishes in the dishwasher, she would run it and put them away. Sounds reasonable, right? Wrong. The kitchen sink was full of dishes. Literally two bowls, two mugs and two forks were ours from dinner. We had none from making dinner aside from a knife used to cut the tomatoes and pizza. I just washed our dishes while Dan was busy elsewhere and left it at that. We once again woke up late on Saturday (~10am this time). Dan had Thanksgiving leftovers again, and I had microwave taquitos. I washed all of our dishes from breakfast as well as any that I had missed from the night before. When I finished, the sink was still pretty well stacked with dishes, but they weren't ours. Tatiana once again bugged us to "do our dishes." We ignored her (because they were already done) and left for the day to celebrate out anniversary. When we got back to the house Sunday morning, Tatiana came thudding downstairs while we were eating and announced "You better have done the dishes!" like we were wayward children ignoring their mother's instructions. When she walked in and saw that the sink was still full, she told us that we were "the worst houseguests ever." I replied "most hosts don't expect their guests to do chores" and went on to explain that they weren't ours and that they had in fact been sitting in the sink since before we arrived at the house on Thursday evening. Her response was, "well they're not mine" (like that automatically made them our responsibility??). I just... I'm flabbergasted that she treated us like stupid children when she can't seem to take care of anything by herself -- and she's almost 20 years old!
In short, Tatiana needs to get off her fucking high horse and live in the real world where she has responsibilities and respect for both of her parents.

Key:
Tatiana = Dan's little sister
Sandy = Dan's mom
Juan = Dan's dad
Sandra = Dan's older sister
Matt = Dan's brother-in-law, Sandra's husband

Argh I really don't feel like this post conveys how Tatiana actually acts on a daily basis. Her behavior, especially towards her mother, is appalling. Literally everything that goes wrong is her mothers fault whether or not it actually is, and Tatiana has no compunction about making the world know all her mother's supposed faults and how horrible her mother is and how her mother has failed her this time. She also enjoys telling Sandy how dumb, annoying, and embarassing she is. I would have been dead meat if I'd ever spoken to my mother like that, but Tatiana gets away with it scott free. It is absolutely apalling. I really want to call her on her behavior, but I feel like that's out of line since she's neither my sister nor my friend.
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We have a situation and we need advice. I'll let my sister explain it, since she knows what's going on:

The day started normally enough. Soak in the tub, watch Heroes with Geena, vegetate while she cleans, then get up and ready to go to the complex and Wal-Mart.

Errands run, dinner made, get a cramp, back to soak in the tub again, then to bed. Take all night meds, including Ambien, and then the phone rings. It's Cynthia. "I need to get in touch with Mom," she says. "Harold and Reuben are saying I'm an unfit mother and they're going to take the girls."

"Wait. What happened?" I sit straight up, phone pressed tight to my ear.

"I stood up for myself." Her voice cracks under the strain. "I told them I need them to pay more child support, and their families got together and decided to take the girls, and my car doesn't have tags, the dealer never sent in the registration, so I'm afraid to drive anywhere, and they said they're gonna come here tomorrow and take my kids." She sounds worn, almost resigned. I am not. I have not had days of this coming at me.

"We'll come get you. We'll be there soon." I hang up and dash off an email to my dad before calling, "Geena, we have a crisis!"

I explain to her before I dress. Teddy claims my robe as his bed as soon as I drop it in the bathroom. Then, once I'm dressed, I have to re-explain to Matthew. We're out the door in no time and on the road, Geena reiterating that she's not comfortable with me driving after taking an Ambien. I tell her Cindy will drive on the way back and the Ambien won't kick in on the half-hour drive.

We take a wrong exit at first, so Geena calls home and has Matthew get us Cynthia's number. She calls while I get us back on the freeway, and the next exit is the one we want. We're there within five minutes of leaving the freeway.

Cynthia looks terrible. She's only thirty-three, but looks at least ten years older. She's lost weight, and her eyes have deep, dark circles under them. "Did you get ahold of Dad?" she asks.

"No, but I can call them." Geena passes me the cell phone, and I dial Dad's number. He's gotten the email I sent him, and I fill him in on what I know. He starts saying he doesn't want these people to show up at our house, telling me to order them off the property if they do and to call the police on a domestic disturbance complaint. All of which I know and plan, but make him feel better to say. Eventually, I pass the phone onto Cynthia.

The plan, as of now, is to take the boys to school as usual in the morning. Cynthia's going to call a friend of hers to see if she can take the girls. If not, Geena and I will keep the girls while we run errands and go to appointments. Cynthia will file restraining orders against Harold and Reuben (they both made death threats) and probably some others, and hopefully, finally start divorce proceedings against Reuben. She'll also be making calls to the dealership and Legal Aid to find herself a lawyer to protect herself from backlash from her moves.

I just. I don't know how these situations form around her. They're always around her. None of the rest of the family attracts this sort of drama. She has a magnet. It's insane.



So they're working on getting restraining orders against these two guys. I told them to make sure she documents everything that is happening. Keep logs of phone calls -- what was said by who and when -- keep copies of notes and emails received as proof of harassment. I can't think of anything else right now other than contacting a lawyer, and they're already doing that. Is there anything else we can do in this situation?

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This is it! Dan's family should be here soon with the truck. I'm all packed except my clothes and computer. I'm looking forward to setting up the new place and shopping to replace old worn out or broken things. I'll see Dan's family, Seth and Luisa, and my parents today. They're all coming down to help with some aspect of the move. Dan's parents are getting the truck for us and will help us load and unload the thing. They should be here any minute. Seth and Luisa will arrive a bit later in the day and will help with whatever's left. My parents aren't able to make it until after 7 tonight (they have a class until 6 in LA), but they're all for dinner and helping to set up the place. It's going to be a big, busy day, and at the end of it, I will be sleeping with Dan in our new apartment.

After this, I will not have access to the internet at my apartment until Friday, when the Verizon guy hooks it up. So until then, my LJ friends! I should be nicely ensconced in my new place when I return.

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Grandma went home last night!

"Home" is not a care facility or a hospice, but a house home with one caretaker in charge of three or four patients. She gets a lot of one-on-one time with her caretaker. A nurse and physical therapist will be coming in soon to check on her: the nurse to check her overall health and make sure she doesn't develop any infections where the two IV/catheters were, and the therapist to help her work back up to her normal physical activity after spending five days confined to a hospital bed. Mom's under the impression that the bleed did some good; Grandma's talking more than she did before, and in complete sentences, too, at least some of the time. She also gets flashbacks and uses words that she hasn't heard or spoken in a long time. Mom's heard her use throwbacks like "smart-alec." Grandma also seems to be more responsive now than she was before, at least for Mom and Aunt Jan. She's more willing to eat now, too. It usually takes an hour and a half for Rosalie (I think that's her name) to feed Grandma, but Mom and Jan managed it in half the time. Let's just hope these improvements last!

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Grandma can go home!

She's been officially diagnosed as having a <i>small</i> bleed that disappeared on its own. On Saturday she had some weakness/paralysis, but she's doing just fine now, so she can go home soon! On Monday morning, she kept her eyes closed all day and wasn't very responsive - she kept her answers to "yes," "no," "hmmm," and "uh-uh." By yesterday, she was completely awake and aware and responsive to her surroundings. It sounds like she's as functional as she was before this happened a few days ago. They just need to give her some antibiotics. She'll probably go back to the home sometime tomorrow.


(Mom was observing her as we were talking. Apparently, Grandma was hugging and petting someone who wasn't there, maybe Grandpa? This is fairly common behavior for her: When Aunt Yesmene (her daughter) died two years ago, Aunt Jan broke the news. Grandma's response? "What are you talking about, she's standing right there." There was no one else in the room.
)

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Mom saw Grandma while the neurologist gave her a basic function exam. Grandma had a small inoperable bleed in her brain: "a bleed that becomes a clot that gets reabsorbed." She is NOT paralysed: she can wiggle her fingers and toes and can push and pull on the doctor's arm. The neurologist says she looks pretty good. A physical therapist will stop by to check the extent of her mobility and swallowing capability. If she's as mobile as she was before this incident, she can go back to her care facility*. If not, Mom and my aunts will have to make other arrangements for her. Grandma's lucid and talking and stringing sentences together, which Mom thinks is hilarious. Apparently, this is not due the bleed but is a result of not taking her axiety meds recently.

*Grandma has very advanced Alzheimer's. We moved her out her of house to live with my Aunt Kathy about eight years ago, but she continued to deteriorate. Due to the severity of her disease, my aunt was no longer able to care for her, so they decided to put her in a group home/care facilty (not sure which) that can care for her better. I haven't seen her since then.

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I just got a call from my dad. Sometime last night, my grandmother had a deep brain stroke. She's currently paralysed on her right side and is still bleeding. The doctors don't know if they can stop it, and surgery to repair it is unlikely due to its location. My mom is on her way to the hospital right now, and my Aunt Jan is flying in from Washington; Aunt Kathy is already there. We don't know what will happen.
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Arrrrrgh I have one more final to study for, ONE MORE, then I'm done with undergrad. Too bad that final is for statistics and I am in severe studying Do Not Want mode right now. Really, I just want to cuddle up with Dan and watch an episode or three of Buffy. *sigh* 13 more hours until I'm finished with undergrad... and 3 1/2 days until I graduate!!!!! Wow I am so excited for this you have no idea. I get to see my family this weekend (parents and siblings (Kelly, Geena, Nick and Matt)) -- they're all coming down Friday for the Commencement ceremony on Saturday morning. Then we're going out to lunch and I might take them to the zoo that I volunteer at if anyone other than my mom is interested. Sunday we're all headed back to San Jose where I'm staying for a week. I'll be able to catch up with my friends and partay like there's no tomorrow and just in general have fun because SCHOOL WILL BE OVER. Next weekend we're having my graduation party with my extended family (Dad's side, at least) so I'll get cake and presents at it will be completely bomb. OH AND I GET TO MEET TEDDY THE 12(?) WEEK OLD GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPY THAT I AM HONESTLY DYING TO PLAY WITH.


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This actually happened on Sunday (April 26th), but I haven't had time to write it up until now.

Sometimes talking to my mother makes me want to scream. I just realized that our first family reunion in nearly 10 years is next weekend, so I called home saying I was interested in going, and that I had invited Dan too. Everything was hunky-dory until I mentioned that Dan wanted to see his friend Seth so they could work on another video. And I refused to let them buy me a plane ticket. Then my dear mother started ranting about how Dan controls my life and we're attached at the hip and I can't/won't do anything without him.

Apparently my mother feels like she can’t talk to me when he’s around. It’s not the same. I always bring him home; I never come home alone anymore. Uhhh, hello? I came home, alone, for two weeks over winter break. Thanksgiving, too. And that week in August. All alone, no Dan with me (okay, we visited with Dan up in San Francisco when I was home in August just to show in around the city a bit, but that was only a few hours out of an entire week). I bring him home for spring break, and that’s about it. She says she doesn’t understand why I “need a boyfriend.” She keeps reminding me about things that happened over a year ago when I was having doubts about our relationship. Apparently, she wants me to break up with him. Guess what? I did! We weren’t together for about three months. Guess what happened? We got back together! All of that was my decision. I initiated the break up, but I couldn’t stand not being with him. I am the one who decided we should get back together. Dan never wanted to break up, but he let me because he wants what is best for me. That is love, I don’t care what you say. He was willing to let me go because he thought it might make me happier. How is that controlling me? How is that bad for me?

She doesn’t understand that I love him. She refuses to acknowledge that this is the man that I will be marrying sometime soon. She doesn’t realize how well Dan treats me – he is exactly what I want from my partner. Dan is incredibly sweet and loving, he helps me out whenever I ask him, he’ll take over doing the dishes after I’ve made dinner, he calms me down whenever I get upset. We get along very well. He makes me laugh everyday. Seeing him after being separated for hours brightens my day. He’s gentle; he never ever hits me no matter how upset he might get. He never yells, either. Sometimes he snaps, but everyone does once in a while. He has never said or done anything malicious towards me. I love him, and he loves me. But she doesn’t see it, or she doesn’t want to.

Yes, we have had fights. We’ve had our ups and downs, just like all couples. But guess what? We’ve worked through them. We don’t let them fester. We talk it out, cry, and make up. Things get better. He doesn’t control me; I try to accommodate him because I want to. He accommodates me when I ask. How is this in any way a bad relationship??

All I'm trying to do is give Dan and my family a chance to get to know each other. I want this to all be happy fun times, but my mother has apparently built up so much resentment towards Dan that it never happens. It's like she's afraid that he's taking me away from her. This situation is very upsetting. I need my mother to like Dan. I can't stand the thought of marrying Dan, only to have my mother hate him. That's not how this is supposed to be. I'm trying to bring someone, whom I love deeply, into our family, but she's rejecting him. Maybe I'm blowing this all out of proportion, but this is how she's making me feel, and I hate it. 

Some of you on my flist know him, or have at least met him. What are your thoughts? Why does my mother keep acting like this?

 
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Honestly, Christmas this year was pretty terrible. My parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents spent all day talking about politics and the economy and how everything is the fault of those damn liberals (I'm a liberal). My sister was in extreme amounts of pain today due to her condition, so she was at the dinner table for about three minutes before she left to take a hot bath to help relax her muscles.  When she was done, Geena, Nick and I gave her about an hour long massage while we chatted and caught up with each other and got to know Geena better. My mom came in an hour and a half after us and told us we had to come out and socialize, and that we were being spoiled brats because we weren't. She tried to guilt trip us by saying our grandparents are in their seventies and won't be around forever. Nick and I came out, then after being ignored for 20 minutes (during which time Kelly, Geena and one aunt and uncle left) I was subjected to an inane conversation with an aunt I don't really care for about subjects that I really couldn't care less about (students she's teaching braille to, her friend's daughter goes to Tulane and OMG it snowed there!), and Mom came and sat in front of me and told me I could retreat back to the room. I am apparently a much better person now for putting up with my aunt. I HATE spending time with the woman. She talks about things she really doesn't understand, takes over private conversations that she wasn't involved in, and is just really annoying overall. 

Mom doesn't understand Kelly's situation. She thinks Kelly's going to get better and be able to go off all her pain medications and blah blah blah. I'm pretty sure she doesn't completely believe the extent of Kelly's problems. I asked Mom if I could take Kelly and Geena back to San Jose so Kelly would have access to a better bed (sleeping poorly on and uncomfortable bed spells doom for her the next day), and she said no. When asked why, she said no. Hello! I'm 21 years old, I think I deserve a straight answer when I ask for one. Kelly and Geena aren't spending the night here anyway, how would taking them back to San Jose be so different?

 My parents apparently "don't believe in" global warming. And they've infected my youngest brother with their idiocy. My aunt sounds like she doesn't believe global warming is the fault of humans because there are natural cycles of global warming/cooling and points to the ice ages as her evidence. My mom comments on the weather and says things like, "global warming, riiiiight." I'm just so flabergasted that my parents can be so... dumb. My dad basically compared believing in global warming to believing that the sun revolved around the earth.

My aunt and uncle arrived today and took over the room that my brothers and I were sharing, so we've been kicked out and now we have to sleep in the livingroom. I've been wanting to sleep for the last two hours, but noooo, they're still out here, currently having a loud conversation about global warming. So, I've been kicked out of a room I already occupied and told I can sleep in the livingroom, but I'm being prevented from sleeping because they're having a conversation that's going nowhere.  IT'S ALMOST ONE AM, LET ME SLEEP, DAMNIT!

I am just so tired of my family being so idiotic. I would so much rather be out with my friends in San Jose or back with my boyfriend in SoCal. I hate hearing their whining and scapegoating and crap all the time. I am so done with it.

Kelly, Nick and Geena: The highlight of my day was spending time with you guys during Kelly's massage. I love you all. Merry Christmas. 

I sincerely hope your day was better than mine. Merry Christmas everyone. 
nohanii: (perfect)
Christmas Eve dinner is always the same in our family: potato soup and these crazy hot dogs made with barbeque sauce and grape jelly.... Yeah, I know it sounds absolutely terrible but it's actually really good! We literally look forward to those things all year. It's such a quirky thing to eat on Christmas Eve, but I love it. I have no idea where the idea originally came from, but you can bet I'll be passing it on when it's my turn. 

We love to play games while visiting the grandparents. Trivial Pursuit is usually our game of choice this time of year, and today was no different. We started playing soon after dinner and didn't finish until 11:30! Darn game lasted for three whole hours. I swear, Trivial Pursuit has some of the worst/most random questions. There was one asking the name of a cartoon show featuring two dimwitted dogs. The answer? Two Stupid Dogs. Go figure. And, seriously? The Sports and Leisure category should just be renamed Baseball. It seemed like 85% of the questions were about baseball, and of course no one here watches baseball or knows anything about it. We finally got tired of trying to land on the center spot, so we just put both team's pieces there and alternated reading the Wild Card category until someone got it and won. My team (Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Erick and myself) won. =)

And now everyone's in sleeping, resting up for tomorrow. I really wish we still did Christmas stockings, because Christmas really isn't the same without them. Some of my favorite memories are of sneaking out of the back room at 6 am, fetching our stockings from the fireplace, getting grunted at by our uncle as he slept on the couch, sneaking back into our room and opening all our gifts from Santa and playing with them and eating candy and nuts until everyone was ready to open presents at 10 am. Even if we changed it, I would still like to do the stockings. 

At any rate, I hope everyone has a great day full of good company and tasty food and lots of paper to tear to shreds. M
erry Christmas!!

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Catherine

August 2011

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