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Nov. 7th, 2008 11:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nohaniiAfter making a few revisions, I sent the email to my parents. All the parts in brackets were deleted, and some things were added or re-worded. I tried to keep it as non-inflammatory as possible, but they will probably still find reason to get upset, especially my father.
When I heard on Tuesday that you had voted in support of Proposition 8, I was shocked. I know you voted your conscience, but you also voted to discriminate against your own daughter, and for that I am appalled. I expected better from you. By voting yes on 8, you may have permanently alienated one of your children, and you have infuriated two others.
I always thought that we were raised to respect others and to live by the Golden Rule – to treat others as we would have them treat us. What happened? Is it suddenly okay to discriminate against one group of people because you don’t agree with their lifestyle? Is it really no big deal to perpetuate a prejudice just because you don’t understand something?
Honestly, what is the absolute worst that could happen if gays and lesbians were allowed to marry? Would people really end up marrying farm animals, as you have suggested? Extrapolating this example backwards in time, would you have voted “no” on miscegenation laws (which were not repealed until 1967 in some states) because they could have led to gay marriage, etc?
You say you love Kelly and you accept her living arrangements, but your words are incongruent with your actions. If this really were true as you profess, you would give up on your own prejudices and allow her the opportunity to marry whomever she wishes. As straight citizens, you and I have the right to marry anyone we want -- black, white, Hispanic, hell even green. Kelly does not. True, she can marry a man, but she wants to marry Geena. She’s not hurting anyone, and she cannot control who she loves, so she should be able to marry whoever she wants. Don’t give me that “it’s for the children” crap; there are plenty of families out there with one mommy and one daddy that are not perfect, including ours (case in point).
We regret that you feel that any of us are "ripping the family apart." Nick and I will continue to stand by our sister. It may cause you pain, but it is by no means intentional. You have caused Kelly far more pain than we will ever inflict on you. If you wanted familial harmony, you should have thought harder before you cast your “yes” vote.
Kelly has been nothing but honest and respectful in all of her correspondences with you. She is nearly 23 years old and is no longer a child who can be told when to drop a subject when you grow tired of it. For that matter, neither are Nick and I. WE will decide when this discussion is over. If you don’t want to be a part of it, fine, but we will continue to express our disapproval for your actions.
Despite all of this, we will continue to love you because you are our parents; it is your vote to marginalize our sister, your daughter, that we do not agree with.
I only hope that in time you will come to realize that your vote was erroneous. I hope you really see how much you have hurt Kelly by essentially telling her she is a second class citizen. I hope you somehow make it up to her. I hope you admit that she has a relationship with Geena, not just a living arrangement. And I hope one day we will be able to put this mess behind us and be one whole family again instead of two warring factions, I really do.
When I heard on Tuesday that you had voted in support of Proposition 8, I was shocked. I know you voted your conscience, but you also voted to discriminate against your own daughter, and for that I am appalled. I expected better from you. By voting yes on 8, you may have permanently alienated one of your children, and you have infuriated two others.
I always thought that we were raised to respect others and to live by the Golden Rule – to treat others as we would have them treat us. What happened? Is it suddenly okay to discriminate against one group of people because you don’t agree with their lifestyle? Is it really no big deal to perpetuate a prejudice just because you don’t understand something?
Honestly, what is the absolute worst that could happen if gays and lesbians were allowed to marry? Would people really end up marrying farm animals, as you have suggested? Extrapolating this example backwards in time, would you have voted “no” on miscegenation laws (which were not repealed until 1967 in some states) because they could have led to gay marriage, etc?
You say you love Kelly and you accept her living arrangements, but your words are incongruent with your actions. If this really were true as you profess, you would give up on your own prejudices and allow her the opportunity to marry whomever she wishes. As straight citizens, you and I have the right to marry anyone we want -- black, white, Hispanic, hell even green. Kelly does not. True, she can marry a man, but she wants to marry Geena. She’s not hurting anyone, and she cannot control who she loves, so she should be able to marry whoever she wants. Don’t give me that “it’s for the children” crap; there are plenty of families out there with one mommy and one daddy that are not perfect, including ours (case in point).
We regret that you feel that any of us are "ripping the family apart." Nick and I will continue to stand by our sister. It may cause you pain, but it is by no means intentional. You have caused Kelly far more pain than we will ever inflict on you. If you wanted familial harmony, you should have thought harder before you cast your “yes” vote.
Kelly has been nothing but honest and respectful in all of her correspondences with you. She is nearly 23 years old and is no longer a child who can be told when to drop a subject when you grow tired of it. For that matter, neither are Nick and I. WE will decide when this discussion is over. If you don’t want to be a part of it, fine, but we will continue to express our disapproval for your actions.
Despite all of this, we will continue to love you because you are our parents; it is your vote to marginalize our sister, your daughter, that we do not agree with.
I only hope that in time you will come to realize that your vote was erroneous. I hope you really see how much you have hurt Kelly by essentially telling her she is a second class citizen. I hope you somehow make it up to her. I hope you admit that she has a relationship with Geena, not just a living arrangement. And I hope one day we will be able to put this mess behind us and be one whole family again instead of two warring factions, I really do.
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no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 08:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 06:41 pm (UTC)I hope you have the loving support of your family (at least those that know), and that everyone else will accept it without question and chooose to support you later on when you decide it's time for them to know. I really hope that you never, ever, have to go through anything like this.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-10 08:18 am (UTC)My stepdad is okay with it, as long as I'm being true to myself (he cares more about that than any details). My grandma still loves me but likes to remind me of dating men and that if I want a family I have to be with a man and...little things, but never said in a mean or hurtful way. So that's good. I'm pretty sure my dad and stepmom will have no problem and if my dad doesn't, well, I won't be too cut up about having to avoid him. It's my mom, really, that I'm worried about. She's very conservative and I've been given the impression from someone (stepdad or grandma, I forgot which) that she may not like it that much. But hopefully...
If things do go south, at least I know I can talk to you about things. >.< I'm hoping it doesn't but...well...life has a way of surprising you.
Ah, such sad thoughts! *hugs all around* We need more hugs in life.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-10 07:09 am (UTC)I guess this proves that even if people have some bad traits, they can still be great parents. :) Best of luck with this.