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Apr. 2nd, 2010 12:47 amI feel like my brain is turning to mush. Since graduating from university last June, I have had so little actual mental stimulation that I am convinced my brain is actually slowly melting and leaking out my ears. I try to avoid sitting at the computer all day when I'm not working, but mostly I just read novels if I'm not on the internet. I'm pretty sure work itself is so mind-numbing that it's speeding up the collapse of my brain. I was so used to problem solving and struggling to understand complex material that I thought I would welcome a break from academia. Boy, was I wrong.
I miss school. I miss learning new things every day. I miss standing up in front of a group to explain and diagram and discuss case studies to get a point across. Hell, I even miss pulling all-nighters to study for exams. There was a certain comfort to the routine of school, and that's gone now. Now, one day blends into the next and weeks coalesce and become difficult to distinguish one day or week from the one before.
My brain literally feels fuzzy. You know that buzz you get when you've had enough drinks to affect how you think? I feel that, all the time. My mind feels slow, like it's slogging through deep mud, or trying to run against a strong wind. I don't like it, and I need to do something about it. I'm searching for a new job to replace DoggieTown and all its mind-numbing uniformity. We finally got Windows 7 installed on my computer, so I'm going back to learning Italian on Rosetta Stone. I think I want to do a little every day, and constantly review what I have already done. But I need more than that. I think, for now, I may resort to reading some of my textbooks that I liked, mostly neurobiology, classics, and maybe nutrition.
I'm trying to be more physically active, too. I've gone running around the neighborhood a few times, usually two miles at a time, and have roller bladed to or from work several times (that's four miles each way!) since getting my blades on Valentine's Day. I don't have access to a gym, and can't afford one at this point in time. Dan's going to see if he can somehow pass me into the ARC (school gym) once or twice a week so I can go to jiu jitsu with him if I want. I'm considering looking up some kind of team sport that I can join, both for the physical activity and the chance to meet people. I found a rock climbing facility not too far from here that's only $60 a month for unlimited wall access, including equipment, so I think I'll give that a try. Maybe I'll get Dan to run down to the beach with me and play down there for a while, too.
I have all of these things that I want to do (that's not even scratching the surface of what I REALLY want), but this mental fog is so difficult to work around. It makes me feel like doing nothing because it's just too hard -- to hard to think, to get up and just DO. I'm hoping that stretching my mental muscle a bit might help me overcome this fuzziness. I want to get into a better, healthier, more fun, more ME routine, because this idling is just killing me.
I miss school. I miss learning new things every day. I miss standing up in front of a group to explain and diagram and discuss case studies to get a point across. Hell, I even miss pulling all-nighters to study for exams. There was a certain comfort to the routine of school, and that's gone now. Now, one day blends into the next and weeks coalesce and become difficult to distinguish one day or week from the one before.
My brain literally feels fuzzy. You know that buzz you get when you've had enough drinks to affect how you think? I feel that, all the time. My mind feels slow, like it's slogging through deep mud, or trying to run against a strong wind. I don't like it, and I need to do something about it. I'm searching for a new job to replace DoggieTown and all its mind-numbing uniformity. We finally got Windows 7 installed on my computer, so I'm going back to learning Italian on Rosetta Stone. I think I want to do a little every day, and constantly review what I have already done. But I need more than that. I think, for now, I may resort to reading some of my textbooks that I liked, mostly neurobiology, classics, and maybe nutrition.
I'm trying to be more physically active, too. I've gone running around the neighborhood a few times, usually two miles at a time, and have roller bladed to or from work several times (that's four miles each way!) since getting my blades on Valentine's Day. I don't have access to a gym, and can't afford one at this point in time. Dan's going to see if he can somehow pass me into the ARC (school gym) once or twice a week so I can go to jiu jitsu with him if I want. I'm considering looking up some kind of team sport that I can join, both for the physical activity and the chance to meet people. I found a rock climbing facility not too far from here that's only $60 a month for unlimited wall access, including equipment, so I think I'll give that a try. Maybe I'll get Dan to run down to the beach with me and play down there for a while, too.
I have all of these things that I want to do (that's not even scratching the surface of what I REALLY want), but this mental fog is so difficult to work around. It makes me feel like doing nothing because it's just too hard -- to hard to think, to get up and just DO. I'm hoping that stretching my mental muscle a bit might help me overcome this fuzziness. I want to get into a better, healthier, more fun, more ME routine, because this idling is just killing me.
