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Car Update
Dec. 15th, 2010 09:53 amOn Sunday evening, I went to Kohls with my parents to get some Christmas shopping done. On the way there, the subject of the cars came up. Dad wondered aloud why I don't just drive the new Civic all the time. I responded, "Well, is it yours or mine?" It's pretty obviously not mine, considering their zomg look what we bought! attitude upon returning home with it, as opposed to a surprise! presentation.
That opened up the way for me to talk about my feelings regarding the whole car situation. I've been trying to find an opportunity when we were alone together and Mom and Dad are awake, alert, and relatively stress-free. That night seemed rather favorable.
So, I calmly and quietly stated, "Three days before you came home with the car, we had a conversation. I'd requested to use the settlement money to buy a (rather new) used car for myself, like a Kia. Then you came home with a new car. I know you likely didn't mean it this way, but I feel like this is a punishment for getting my car wrecked. I feel like you are treating me like the accident was my fault."
Dad, of course, objected to the notion that he was punishing me or that it was my fault at all. I guess they just haven't given this situation much thought.
I pointed out that, unless I'm just driving to work or around town, I have to ask for permission to take a car. I also pointed out that I will not have a car when I move out (which will hopefully be soon, but no real plans yet). Yes, Mom's name was on my poor old Civic's title, but mine was on the registration.
During that five minute conversation, we came to an agreement: I get to drive the new Civic (or Acura) as long as I live here. Dad promised that I will be able to use the settlement money to buy myself a replacement car when I move out. That seems rather fair to me, though I would prefer to get my own car ASAP, mostly for the freedom having my own car entails.
I had thought that they were planning to use the settlement to pay off their new car. I have since learned that they are planning to sell the older of the two Acuras (the one I currently drive when the Civic's not available), which will bring them back down to four cars for two people, instead of five. I am much happier with the situation as is stands now with the nearly $8000 settlement promised to me.
That opened up the way for me to talk about my feelings regarding the whole car situation. I've been trying to find an opportunity when we were alone together and Mom and Dad are awake, alert, and relatively stress-free. That night seemed rather favorable.
So, I calmly and quietly stated, "Three days before you came home with the car, we had a conversation. I'd requested to use the settlement money to buy a (rather new) used car for myself, like a Kia. Then you came home with a new car. I know you likely didn't mean it this way, but I feel like this is a punishment for getting my car wrecked. I feel like you are treating me like the accident was my fault."
Dad, of course, objected to the notion that he was punishing me or that it was my fault at all. I guess they just haven't given this situation much thought.
I pointed out that, unless I'm just driving to work or around town, I have to ask for permission to take a car. I also pointed out that I will not have a car when I move out (which will hopefully be soon, but no real plans yet). Yes, Mom's name was on my poor old Civic's title, but mine was on the registration.
During that five minute conversation, we came to an agreement: I get to drive the new Civic (or Acura) as long as I live here. Dad promised that I will be able to use the settlement money to buy myself a replacement car when I move out. That seems rather fair to me, though I would prefer to get my own car ASAP, mostly for the freedom having my own car entails.
I had thought that they were planning to use the settlement to pay off their new car. I have since learned that they are planning to sell the older of the two Acuras (the one I currently drive when the Civic's not available), which will bring them back down to four cars for two people, instead of five. I am much happier with the situation as is stands now with the nearly $8000 settlement promised to me.
