I hope all of you had a far better Thanksgiving break than I did!
I hope all of you had a far better Thanksgiving break than I did!
I slept in today until nearly 10am. That's 2 1/2 hours after Matthew left for school. I didn't even think to glance at the medication chart to see if Midnight and Teddy had gotten their morning treatments until after 1pm, and that was when I was busy making myself some lunch. Teddy was done, but Midnight was not. Midnight's supposed to get her meds twice a day, around 8am and 8pm. This was 5 hours past that.
I'm so fed up. When my cat, TJ, was sick and dying, I cared for him round the clock. I gave him baby aspirin and massaged his paralyzed leg. I made sure he was eating. I made sure he was taking care of himself. I stayed with him as much as I could until there was no other choice but to have him put to sleep. Matthew doesn't check to see how Midnight is doing. He doesn't make sure she has her special food. Basically, he doesn't do shit for his cat unless he is yelled at repeatedly.
But somehow, I'm the one being blamed because I "suddenly stopped" giving her her meds without first notifying Matthew. This shouldn't even be an issue. Matthew should automatically assume that it's his responsibility because Midnight is his cat. Especially after I have repeatedly told him that he needs to be responsible for this and not foist it off on me. But no, even after 11 days of saying that, this is still my fault.
Matthew is such a fucking failure. He annoys the hell out of me. I wish he would just grow the fuck up. And Mom? Well she needs to grow a pair of fucking balls start actually being a mother to Matthew instead of this namby-pamby BS she's doing now.
(Dad, by the way, was in the next room. He didn't say anything throughout this whole debacle.)
A month or so ago, my parents sat all of us "kids" (me; my siblings Kelly, Nick and Matthew; plus Geena and Dan (who was still living here at the time)) down for a talk. Essentially, due to ongoing drama with me eldest sister Cindy, we were all effectively being cut off -- we are expected to pay for our own cell phones, car insurance, gas, etc. They want us to be independent and want to avoid a repeat of Cindy, who uses them as a crutch every time she falls in a hole and never pays them back even though she swears she will. After that announcement, they spoke with me and Nick individually to help us decide what to do with our lives and how, and with Matt to figure out what to do with him (he's still in high school). Kelly and Geena went back to their apartment to talk things over between themselves and come up with a game plan for their future, too.
I'd been weighing my different options all summer. I'm interested in health and I adore neurobiology. I'd considered going into veterinary medicine, psychology, psychiatry, neurology, and going to graduate school to earn a Ph.D. in neurobiology. I've thought about the requirements, the work involved, the approximate time required, and the duties and onerous tasks involved in each line of work. I've decided that studying for an M.D. in neurology is most suited to my interests and abilities.
Since the evening, I have been applying for nearly any neurobiology research laboratory that I could find (currently looking at Stanford, UCSF is up next). I've looked up the requirements for medical school. And I've started studying for the nightmare entrance examination, the MCAT.
So, the MCAT is consuming my life right now and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I plan to take the exam in February. Hopefully I will do well enough the first time so I won't have to take it again. I'm aiming for 13's across the board -- biology, physical sciences (physics and chemistry), and verbal reasoning -- and a good score on the essay portion, too. If I manage to get 13s, I should be able to get into a really good medical school. Like, Stanford-level good. Even if I miss the mark and get all 11's, I should still get into a good school, maybe UCLA?
Aside from all that madness, I need to find doctors that will let me shadow them for a few months. I should find somewhere to volunteer and take part in extracurricular activities that I personally enjoy. I'm thinking dancing, or rock climbing, or a sport like soccer or lacrosse in addition to my photography/art and learning Italian.
They called me back a half hour later and left this message:
So essentially, I'm eligible to be covered but I'm not covered because I'm not a full-time student, so I;'m ineligible? What? Methinks the insurance company needs to train their employees again. I am correct in thinking that the healthcare bill passed by Congress several months ago extended a parent's medical plan to cover and child of 26 or younger, regardless of student status, yes? We went over this months ago. Our insurance decided to be responsible by implementing this particular bit of reform with the new quarter (which started in June, I believe) on an opt-in basis. We opted in.
So why is this so hard to get right?
According to the Fedex tracking site, the package was picked up from Pleasanton yesterday... and arrived in Oakland last night. Pleasanton is 45 minutes from my house. Oakland? Oakland is 70 minutes away. Good planning there, Fedex.
That's not even the good part: It left Oakland this morning... and arrived in Memphis, TENNESSEE, five hours later.
WTF Fedex? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME.
...IT'S STILL IN MEMPHIS.
I went off birth control toward the end of February due to my financial situation and lack of health insurance, but we've still been practicing safe sex. Dan brought up last Saturday night as we were cuddling in bed that it had been quite awhile since I'd had it, but I don't clearly remember the last time I had my period. I know it was just ending on a Friday/Saturday that we went to Dan's parents' house. That would be either Easter weekend or two weekends before that for Tatiana's birthday. We couldn't pinpoint it better than either of the two weekends. So, four to six weeks ago. I'm used to it coming every four weeks like clockwork, either Sunday night or Monday morning, for the last five years. It was either coming up right on time, or it was two weeks late. It was that "two weeks late" part that we were concerned about. I'd meant to keep track of my periods after coming off birth control, but it kept slipping my mind, so now we have this great big question mark hanging over our heads to deal with.
Sunday came and went with no sign of it. Monday too. Days passed with no clue that it would be coming anytime, and we grew more concerned with each passing hour. Finally, on Wednesday Dan brought up the possibility of buying a home pregnancy test. I didn't want to because I was terrified of seeing a + or two lines or a big bold PREGNANT glaring up at me. Scenarios were running through my head of what I would do if I was. That's as far as I got, I couldn't bring myself to say or even think that terrible "P" word. What would I do if I took the test and it came back positive? I can't have a baby, not right now. I barely have $200 in the bank. I'm only 22. I'm trying to get a better job, and go back to school. I'm not ready to give up my life for a tiny, insistent human life. I can't even afford a dog. I could get an abortion, but I'd feel terrible even if I caught it this early. I could keep it and give it up for adoption, but I have no insurance and wouldn't be able to afford the routine check ups, not to mention anything that might pop up if something went wrong. That and I'd feel horrible having a kid out there that I didn't know. I'd feel awful thinking about how he might feel unwanted because I gave him up. All of this ran through my head in a jumbled mess in about twelve seconds.
Dan insisted that he would feel better knowing, no matter which way it turned out. At least we'd know. I knew I would stay up worrying if it came back positive, but I'd probably be able to sleep not knowing. I agreed to get the test for his peace of mind. I made him take us to the store in his car, since he had our reserved spot. I felt horribly awkward standing in the aisle staring at the pregnancy tests, trying to decide which one to get. We grabbed a First Response two-pack, since it's supposed to be able to tell within only four days of your missed period. We also got some corn on the cob. Yumm.
Of course, I'd already peed just before deciding to go to the store, so I had to drink a bunch of water while we tried to distract ourselves watching Glee. It worked, but only until the next commercial break. Damn. I finally peed on the damn stick (that was awkward) and left it in the bathroom to develop for a few minutes. Dan and I distracted ourselves more. Five minutes later, we checked the test. One line. Negative. Not pregnant. Thank god.
Of course, my period started trickling in on Thursday and came full-force on Friday. All that worrying and hand wringing and avoidance that could have just been ignored and resolved with a few more days of "wait-and-see."
Climbing a set of stairs after running for an hour is ridiculously hard. My legs felt like jello, they were so wobbly. All I wanted to do when we FINALLY walked through the door was to collapse and fall asleep, but no. I had to ~*stretch*~ first. I broke a dish. Whoops. I eventually did collapse on the floor, and man it felt good like whoah. I almost fell asleep! I took a shower after my almost-nap and discovered that, ow, I need a better bra for running. I have two spots that were rubbed raw, and getting sweat and sunblock in those spots is most decidedly NOT FUN. I also need to get new shoes for running because the inserts that I currently have apparently decided "Hey, you know what would be a blast? BLISTERS. Blisters on the bottom of her feet. Alright!" So now I'm wandering around in socks and slippers to tray to prevent my poor feet from rubbing on anything. They'll hopefully be fine by tomorrow.
The good news is, I had chocolate milk. Om nom nom.
On Sunday, I got up somewhat early (8-9 am) and went into the living room so I wouldn't bother her or her boyfriend who were still asleep in the bedroom. They woke up soon after that and locked the door and started having sex while I was in the living room. I wasn't even dressed for the day yet. I had to go knock on the door to be allowed into my own room so I could get my clothes and leave. Well, I left the door open because I would be going in and out for a bit while getting prepared for the day. I walked in through the OPEN bedroom door and walked right in on her going down on him. Fortunately, the blanket was strategically placed so I didn't see much of him, but I got an eyeful of her fat ass. Seriously?? The door was OPEN, dipshit!
After coming home from the gym today, the bedroom door was wide open. Turns out, they were napping. Fine, whatever. But now, I'm locked out of my room AGAIN while they have sex AGAIN. Once or twice is fine. But nearly every day? Enough is enough. I get that this is a relatively new relationship, but still. Some basic courtesy would be appreciated: a) don't lock me out of the room that we share while I'm home, b) don't have sex on my furniture (which I know they've done at least 2 or 3 times), and c) don't have sex while I'm home!! My sex life has suffered because I follow all three of this guidelines. I hate that it has, but I value some semblance of peace in the apartment. I really want to start violating all of these "guidelines" all the time, just to show her how rude it is.
What would you do if you were in the same situation, flist?
Around 4 am, I was woken up by the sound of gasping coming from the living room. pauline was having sex (I believe she was on my couch*, eww). I drifted off at some point, absolutely mortified that my couch was being defiled by pauline. They stopped not too long after that and came in the bedroom to go to bed. They came in, scuffing their feet and chatting. I woke up. Again. pauline fiddled with her phone (not on silent) and climbed in to her noisy bed with some guy who I can only assume to be her boyfriend. Then they proceeded to carry on a "whispered" conversation about something or other. I got feed up because they were keeping me awake when I really needed to get some sleep, so I spoke up: "You guys really aren't as quiet as you think you are." That made them be quiet. For all of a minute and a half. By this point, Dan had been awake for quite some time, too (which is usually pretty hard to do, so you know they were making noise; it wasn't just me), and he made some moaning/groaning/annoyed/stfu noise. So I said something to the effect of: "either stop talking or leave the room." Her reply? Use earplugs. ?!? So I just said, "Fuck off, I have to get up early tomorrow." She finally got quiet and went to sleep. By this time it was nearly 5 am, and I was wide awake. I ended up dozing at some point, not really asleep, until my alarm went off at 6:10 am. I lost 2+ hours of sleep due to pauline's selfishness.
I NEED TO MOVE OUT. Now, pls. kthx.
*When I got up this morning, the couch was in complete disarray. Yes, they were fucking on it. Ewww. Anyone have some couch disinfectant?
And this is absolutely disgusting. I can't believe people who have supposedly dedicated their lives to upholding the law would do such a thing. I'm just... speechless and appalled. I don't know what to say.
Edit: Awwww this is adorable.
Edit the second: party poopers
( The absurdity. It pains me. )
a) Did he seriously compare gay marriage to illegal drugs and porn?
b) I did not accuse him of supporting miscegenation laws, I correlated them to the ban on gay marriage
c) The 14th Amendment's equal protection clause. You said it yourself.
d) How is the Brown v. Board of Education decision different from the California Supreme Court decision?
e) Yay! You finally admitted that it's not just a "living arrangment"
f) Did you even read my email? I said that "we love you" and it's your vote that we don't agree with; I never said you were bad people, and my email wasn't angry. I could have given you pissed the fuck off, but I didn't.
g) Soooo everyone has to all follow your stupid conscience, but you don't have to think about how you impact people? If that were true, we would still have the miscegenation laws, and probably still have slavery.
h) You have most definitely not been civil "about this whole thing." You told your eldest daughter that she is not worthy to marry the woman that she loves, and you have told all three of us to stfu. You twised my words and accused me of things that I didn't say. You told Kelly that she was responsible for "ripping the family apart" because she "incited Nick" to be rude to you and to hurt your precious feelings.
i) Grow up and develop a real conscience. You won't even respond to Kelly's email about her health, which has absolutely nothing to do with the current argument.
And Mother? At least say something about this. Avoiding it won't make it go away.
( Read more... )
I finally wrote back to my parents concerning their decision to vote "yes" on Prop 8. I meant to keep it short, but I ended up writing a term paper (okay, not quite). I decided not to try to talk them into believing that they believe the wrong thing because they will never budge on that issue. Instead, I'm trying to convince them that they did the wrong thing by you, K. Regions in brackets are parts that I probably won't end up sending because they have the potential to be incendiary.
Edit: This last bracket was left out unintentionally. Again, bracketed regions are things that I would like to say, but I won't send because it they will only make matters worse. It was fun to write, especially the last part.
Short version: K (my sister) emailed them, saying that she was very hurt by their decision but still loves and respects them. Her email was calm and composed throughout. My father emailed back saying he loves and respects her, too, but he believes marriage to be between a man and a woman. K passed his email on to me and N (the brother) so that we could see for ourselves what his view on this subject is because we have a right to know how he feels as it could potentially affect us as well. That is when the shit hit the fan. N responded to dad, dad accused N and K of "ripping the family apart," N told him off because he's being an asshole, mom tried to call N and me, N hung up on her and I refused to answer. Father told us all off because we're not "respecting" him (K is 23, N is 19 and I am 21) and said, "This discussion is over." Who are you to tell your three adult children when to drop something? You hurt our sister, and you WILL hear us out, whether you want to or not. You created this mess, now deal with it.