nohanii: (Default)
Mom and Dad disappeared for hours today. When they came back, they had a brand new 2010 Honda Civic.

They gave me (or, more accurately, are letting me use) Mom's 2001 Acura. This is three days after I talked to Dad about using the settlement money from my car to buy a used ~2009 Kia, and he approved of the plan.

Their reasoning? "But you wanted the Acura!"

Yeah, until I had to start driving it again and discovered how grossly inefficient it is. Before I had the chance to upgrade to a newer, nicer, and still gas-efficient car -- one that had better than an average 22 mpg. My Honda made on average 33 mpg. Now I'm stuck with this car that really just makes me feel gross.

I understand why they thought this would be okay -- they own my 2001 Civic, not me, and I've been making noises for ages about getting one of the two Acuras. But seriously. My car got totaled. I fought to get a higher settlement than was offered. I just talked to Dad about getting a Kia with the settlement money. Then they turned around and did this.

I feel cheated. I was the one in a car crash. I was the one who lost a car. I was the one who managed to get over $700 more compared to the original settlement. They didn't do anything. They already had four cars -- four cars between the two of them -- in perfect condition. But Mom wanted a new car, and she is the one who gets what she wants.

Oh, and the kicker? They're always complaining about how oh-so-broke they are. They just bought a car for over $17,000. My settlement was $8000. They now owe ~$9000 in car payments. They just bought the Pilot last year and are still paying it off. And they're still working on payments for the Corvette that was bought ~2 years before that. If I'd gotten a used Kia, I could have bought one for ~$10,000, and owed only ~$2000 on it by using the settlement as a down payment.

But no. They went behind my back and did this.

I really honestly expected Mom to get a new car this weekend. I thought they would trade one of the Acuras in to get it. I didn't even consider that they would pull this BS, at least not without first talking to me about it. Even if they settlement isn't actually my money, I feel that they owed me that courtesy if nothing else.

Really now?

May. 1st, 2010 07:43 pm
nohanii: (Default)
My dad is still pouting and bitch-facing about the fight we had 8 HOURS AGO. He won't talk to me except to answer direct questions, and then it's in a completely disinterested tone. He won't respond at all to comments about how well Teddy is progressing with all the new tricks I'm teaching him, and he slammed the door and stormed out when he and Mom left for the Eagles concert an hour ago.

Seriously, grow up time is now.
nohanii: (Default)
Well that was... interesting.

Mom, Matt, Dad and I were sitting at the table eating breakfast and having a fairly pleasant discussion about a bunch of different things, from PG&E being stupid, to alternative power sources, to why I had to have surgery years ago. This was peppered with comments telling Matthew to stop picking at his skin because he has sores that will get infected and develop scars if he keeps playing with them. Mom kept reminding him to stop whenever she caught him doing it, and I was giving Matt advice, since I've gone through the same thing and have been trying to stop for years. I was telling him things like "distract your hands," hold your mug or do something else to keep your hands busy so they don't wander up to you neck/face. Dad spoke up in a really annoyed tone, telling him repeatedly to stop, sounding angrier and angrier with each repetition until he was almost yelling at Matthew. This was all over something that is a habit that is very hard to break and doesn't actually directly affect Dad at all. I gently told Dad that yelling really does not help in a situation like this and that there really are better ways to handle this. I wasn't telling him what to do, I wasn't condescending, and I certainly wasn't trying to be rude. I was trying to offer advice because the only way Dad knows how to deal with things is to yell and scream and holler and carry on, and that never helps anything. The conversation returned to discussing my shoulder injury and surgery, since Matthew didn't know much about it.

Two minutes later, Dad blew up. He started screaming at me. He stood up and loomed over me, and yelled at me while standing three inches from my face. I tried to calmly interject that I really wasn't trying to be rude, that I was just trying to say that there are other ways to deal with things. He just kept screaming about how "How dare you" and "I would never say that to my parents" and on and on and on. It was very upsetting to be treated that way, but really, it wasn't very intimidating. All I could really think was, "Really? This is how you deal with this? Really? Grow up." Mom interjected that this is why she never says anything. She's afraid that he'll start screaming at her. It's happened in the past. Matthew had stormed out of the room after Dad started yelling at him for picking at his skin. I left to talk to Matthew, who was obviously upset. I tried to tell him ways to diffuse tension before it builds and explodes. Simple things like doing what you're asked either right away or within a reasonable amount of time.

Then I told him about when I was in so much pain because of my shoulder injury, and I was trying to tell my parents that I needed help, but I was being brushed off and ignored because I was "exaggerating." I got so frustrated that my pain wasn't being taken seriously, so I resorted to stronger language to get my point across. Dad blew up and told me to go to my room, but Mom said no, you need to listen to her. Dad has a history of not listening and blowing up when issues are put in his face. It's upsetting and frustrating.

Really though, yelling in my face? Not intimidating. Grow up.

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Catherine

August 2011

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