nohanii: (Default)
I saw my ex, Gabe, last Sunday night for the first time in nearly 4 years. We both thought it would be super awkward, and thus a short visit. Nope. We pretty much picked up our friendship where we left off years ago. We hung out, drank coffee, walked around, did goofy things, ate yogurt, and sat on a bench to chat more. I am... amazed that it went so well. We left feeling affections for each other that we didn't think were possible after what had happened between us.

I made the mistake of losing track of time (actually I was having so much fun I didn't care what time it was) and got home at 3am. Oops. Dan had declared that he was fine with me seeing him -- he even gave me money to get yogurt with Gabe since I was broke -- but Dan was really upset that I spent such a long time with him and got back so late. Yeah, 6:30pm to 2:30am? 8 hours? Oops. We had a 3am talk. Dan said he feels like this is "only the beginning" and surmised that I want to see Gabe again when I didn't deny it just to placate him.

I can't stop thinking about Gabe. I want to see him again, and soon. I had such a wonderful time with him on Sunday night, it was like no time at all had passed. I don't want to date him, at least not at this point, but I do want to be friends with him again. He's a fun, interesting and amusing person to be around, and I miss him.

But this thing with Gabe has brought issues between me and Dan to light. I'm not happy. Dan can tell. I'm lonely. I only have Dan and my cats for companionship. I'm not happy with my job or where I'm at in life. We've been dating for over 4 1/2 years now -- 5 years this November -- and I feel that we should be moving on to the next stage in our relationship, marriage. Problem is, neither of us want to get married within the next 5 years.

I stopped wearing the Promise ring Dan gave me for our first anniversary awhile back.

Within the last few days, Dan stopped wearing his, too.

I feel like our relationship is winding down. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm looking forward to it, since I'll be free to socialize however I want with whomever I wish. But I'm sad, too. Dan has said that if we break up, we can't be friends. The break up wouldn't be mutual -- he still loves me very much. He wouldn't be able to handle just a friendship until he finds someone he cares for more than he loves me.
nohanii: (Default)
What's wrong with this picture?

I live in Southern California. Huntington Beach, in fact, on the coast less than an hour south of LA. I can smell the ocean from my bedroom. We had a TORNADO in Huntington Beach. Specifically, in north Huntington Harbor, which is no more than 2 miles away from my apartment.

I didn't see it, I didn't even KNOW at the time that there really was a tornado out here. I got a ZotAlert text message (UCI texts its students if there is a crime on campus or something else we should be aware of) at 1:29 pm saying: "Tornado warning. Tornado will be 6 miles NW of Irvine by 130 PM. Stay indoors." I got a second text at 1:52 pm stating "Tornado warning is cancelled." Tornadoes are extremely rare out here -- the last one that we had was in May of 2008, and that was out in Riverside. I'd never heard of a tornado down here before the Riverside one.

This tornado ended up flipping a few cars and boats and shredded the roof of one house. Besides that, there was very little damage, thankfully. Besides the Huntington Harbor twister, we had several water spouts (essentially a water tornado) in Orange County and another tornado in Costa Mesa -- on the exact opposite side of Huntington Beach.

Crazy days, huh?
nohanii: (Default)
I am so unbelievably glad that this school week is over, even though I still have all of Saturday jam-packed. On top of an already busy schedule, I tutored for an extra 5 hours in two days (plus an additional 3 hours last Friday). That means I had to write several extra worksheets for my kids and schedule extra time and give up my evenings. You wouldn't believe how tiring tutoring can be. It's insane how much it seems to suck out so much of my energy in just three hours. I've also had to write a paper for dance, update my paper and presentation for physiology, visit with my physio professor for help on said paper/presentation combo, redo a bunch of equations and assumptions for physio, do statistics homework everyday, catch up on statistics for missing so much of it last week, write an essay for NSLS, request a letter of recommendation from an NSLS advisor, write two letters of recommendations for fellow NSLS members (only one of which is done right now)... I'm sure I've forgotten something. I feel like I've wasted so much time this week and I haven't gotten anything done. But I have. But I don't feel like I have. I don't know what to think. I don't get to relax tomorrow either. I'm getting up at 6am so I can leave my apartment by 7am so I'll get to the zoo by 7:30am so I can work my butt off for 5-8 hours for no pay. Not even gas money. When I get home, I have to work on statistics and study for Monday's physiology quiz and get everything else done that I can because [ profile] aidenlane might be coming down this weekend and I really  want to see her and BLAH. Can I have my Saturdays back? 

I still need to get an oil change. 

Edit: That's w
hat I forgot! I also had to write a post-lab for physio. 
nohanii: (Default)
Ugh this week has been insanely busy, and it's not even over yet.

Monday: I had class and tutoring practically 9am to 5pm with only two hours off between classes. I called the student Mental Health Clinic to schedule an appointment about my anxiety stuff, but they were already closed, so I just headed home for dinner. I was supposed to go to my dance class 6-7:30pm, but I skipped it in favor of studying for my statistics midterm.

Tuesday: I had my stats exam at 8am - after only getting ~5 hours of sleep, if not less. It was my only class of the day, but did I get to sit back and relax after that? Noooo, I had stuff to do! I called UCI Mental Health after getting a missed call from them and set up my triage appointment for Thursday. While on the phone, my mom called, so I had to call her back after finishing up with the clinic. I don't exactly remember what we talked about, but I know she mentioned my health insurance and whatnot, then she let me go so I could make some more calls. Next I called a podiatrist for a foot exam so I can get surgery on my foot to remove a bone chip that likes to pinch a nerve and cause me crazy amounts of pain. I got an appointment for Thursday morning next week. So then I called a representative about ordering my UCI class ring, but she didn't answer. I called my mom back, and of course the lady called me back in the middle of the conversation with my mother, so I had to abandon my mom and take the call. I thought this phone call was just some informational thing, but I submitted my ring order! It's gorgeous and should be here in four weeks! I am so excited! But at the same time I'm miffed that it's showing up early because I don't want to ~officially wear it until graduation. Oh noes! What a terrible dilemna =P OH AND GUESS WHAT. It's $50+ less than I expected, so YAY!! So, I got my ring ordered (!!!) then called my mom back to notify her of the transaction, the total cost, and what to expect on the next credit card statement. I literally spent 2+ hours on the phone with 4 different people. When I was finally done with all my massive amounts of phone calls, I had to finish my stats homework and write a worksheet for my tutees and get it sent out. Then I had to make dinner and run out the door to get to speaker event for the National Society of Leadership and Success on time at 8pm.

Wednesday: Same as Monday, but this time I went to dance class, so I was at school from 9am to 7:30pm with three 1 hour breaks - first I came home to get more stuff together, then back off to class; second spent researching tyrannosaurus rex for my physiology class; third for dinner, then I had to run off to make it to dance class on time. End of dance class came around, but was I done? Oh no. I had to meet my group from the National Society of Leadership and Success at Starbucks at 8pm for our first  Success Networking Team meeting (oooh over acheiver!). I didn't get to go back home until 9:30pm! I was at school from nearly 9am to 9:30pm! LAME!

Thursday: Up at 7 for an 8am statistics discussion. Came home, finished stats homework, wrote another worksheet for my tutees, and brainstormed my ~anxiety symptoms for my appointment later on... which made me feel like I was overexaggerating my problems and led to an almost-abandoment of my appointment. I somehow got distracted and was almost late leaving for my appointment. I got there (early!) and waited for someone to give me my patient history forms and surveys. And waited and waited. I must have read the depression, relaxation techniques, and the two anxiety booklets two or three times each. FINALLY someone came out and handed me my forms. I finished and went in to see the doctor lady. It was easier than I thought it would be to talk to the doctor, though she was kind of annoying because she did this annoying/weird laugh/giggle/mhmm thing after almost every sentence. She wrote down tons of notes and asked me boatloads of questions. At the end of the 30 minutes she categorized me as a Tier 1 patient because I am a graduating senior, so I need to help now more so than a freshman. This just means that if any appointment slots open up, I get first dibs. Yay, perks. After my appointment I came back home to do more work for tutoring. I compiled three exams from previous quarters for my students, but I had to answer 1/3 of the questions for myself because the professor hadn't posted an answer key. Dan and I FINALLY actually got to work on our Tyrannosaurus rex powerpoint presentation for physiology. Dan went to bed by midnight, but I get an energy boost around then and went on a cleaning spree around the kitchen, then I  figured out more stuff to add to the powerpoint. I finally got to bed at 2am.

Friday: zomg another long day. 9am statistics (again!), then a one hour break to get stuff together and check email, then off to physiology class. My break came when I found out that I am in one of three groups that did not have to present today, so now I have more time to put a better presentation together for Monday. w00t. Physiology lab was kind of fun today - we got to play with electrodes for an electromyogram. Got done early, turned in  timesheets to LARC, then went to the class I tutor for. Got out at 5pm, raced home, ate a half can of soup and a slice of bread for dinner, and raced back to campus for my review session at 6pm. I ran the review from 6 to 8pm and ended up doing most of the talking because everyone gets all ~scared when there are 24 other people in the room instead of just eight. I got home at 8pm and crashed. Ate some chili for the second half of my dinner while watching Stephen Colbert. Then I realized, I hadn't gone shopping for Gilda's (pronounced Hilda) baby shower the next day. CRAP. I had to run to Target at 9pm to find baby stuff and wrapping paper, zoomed home to wrap it, and now here I am. Why I'm still up, I don't know.

My week is still not over. I have to get up at 6am tomorrow  and leave here by 7am to get to the OC Zoo by 7:30am for volunteering. I'm cutting tomorrow's hours short so I can get back here and go to Wayzgoose/UCI openhouse/some festival in the park and actually have some fun. Later tomorrow, I have another speaker even for the National Society of Leadership and Success - I am unable to make one of the events, but I've been allowed to go to this screening with the NSLS officers because I took the initiative. Go me. Sunday will be dedicated to more work on the physiology paper and presentation. I'm also supposed to help Dan out on a video project sometime this weekend. I just want to sleeeeep.

Highlight  of my week? I
 got new socks!

This is why I never have time to update my LJ anymore. 
Seriously, it's like this EVERY DAY. I wonder how long before this drives me insane? 


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